Cell Phone
by Eclipse-Vamp
Summary: Alice gets Jasper a cell phone. He's not too happy about it. Fluffy one-shot. AXJ


**A/N: I wrote this a long time ago and just stumbled upon it. I edited it slightly and decided to post it here. For those of you who have me on author alert and notice that I have been posting daily . . . don't get too used to that, haha. Summer's almost over so updates will be slower starting August 16th. So, read on.**

**_Disclaimer: Anything you recognize in here doesn't belong to me. I own nothing._  
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Cell Phone**

**Prompt/Scenario: Alice gets Jasper a cell phone and tries to show him how to text.**

"I still don't see why I really have to get a cell phone," Jasper sighed as he opened the small box.

"We're in the twenty-first century now, Jazz," Alice said, taking the box from his hands and grabbed the cell phone, setting it up so he could use it. Jasper watched her with interest as she did multiple things to the small phone to get it ready. He really didn't understand the necessity of the small little object, but Alice had insisted he buy one.

"There," Alice sighed and handed Jasper the blue phone. Jasper studied the screen. It looked just like a normal household phone, except smaller. It also opened on the side to reveal a tiny keyboard.

Jasper rolled his eyes, why did humans need such things? Things were much simpler in the nineteenth century. Humans then would hand write everything and then invented the typewriter (he'd been changed into a vampire, but wrote with one when he was with the Cullens) and could only communicate by the sending each other Morse code messages through straight keys.

"Want to try it?" Alice bounced up and down before running upstairs. Jasper could hear her grabbing her cell phone and dialing his number. Suddenly, his phone rang. Jasper looked at it and pressed the green key, and brought the phone up to his ear.

"_Hi, Jazz,_" Alice's voice sounded from upstairs and then echoed into the speaker.

"Hi," Jasper said, not really enjoying this as much as his wife.

"_Now we're going to try texting!_" Alice squealed before hanging up. Jasper pressed the 'End' key and heard Alice's fingers flying over her own little keyboard. Suddenly, his phone rang with a different ringtone than before. He opened his phone, pressing the 'OK' key and reading the text message phone Alice.

_Hi, Jasper, how are you? :)  
_

Jasper's brow furrowed. What did '3' mean? He hadn't paid any attention at all to texting lingo, so he truly had no clue. He pressed the key to reply and started writing on the keyboard.

_What does ':)' mean?_

He pressed send and heard Alice's ringtone sound right before her laughter. His phone instantly rang again.

_It's a smiley face, lol._

Jasper was confused yet again, and, judging by his wife's emotions upstairs, she was purposely doing it.

'_lol'?_ He sent to her and Alice laughed again before his phone rang.

_It means 'Laugh Out Loud'. For a vampire, Jazz, you're really slow._

Jasper's mouth flew opened as Alice continued laughing. He'd show her slow, alright.

_Excuse me for being born in a different era._

His phone rang again.

_Oh right! You're still attached to that annoying Morse code._

She was purposely trying to get on his nerves.

_.. / .-.. - …- . / -.- - ..-_

This time it was Alice's time to be frustrated.

_Okay, you got me. What does that mean?_

Jasper chuckled as he wrote again on the little keyboard.

'_I love you'. And, I told you that you would one day regret not taking Morse code lessons from me. ;)_

_Oh, so you DO know something about texting! .- / -.-_

Jasper frowned again.

_What does 'jk' mean? And huh?_

Alice's laughter echoed around the house.

_I did know Morse code language, honey. I just wanted to humor you. And 'jk' means 'just kidding'._

_Oh._

_So . . . anything new?_

_I hate texting._ Jasper typed as his fingers pushed too many buttons at once. _Too complex._

Alice's laughter came closer and closer and she was soon sitting next to her husband.

"Don't worry, texting will go out of style in a couple of decades," Alice assured him. "So will books, because of technology."

"I hate technology as well," Jasper growled and Alice smiled.

"You're a hater today, are you not?" she laughed as Jasper continued to grumble about humans ruining the world and how they should at least appreciate times when they actually had to _work_ to make a living.

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**A/N: I just felt that Jasper wouldn't like technology just because he grew up in a different time period. But, I don't either. Well, I like my laptop (duh) because I can work on my writings and drawings and post them. So, hit or miss? Please review!**

**~Eclipse-Vamp :)  
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